


waking up happy, going to bed happy

by vestara



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-04
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-28 04:45:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2719211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vestara/pseuds/vestara
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A few years after the Battle of Endor, Sabine and Luke travel to a detention center on Coruscant to investigate reports of an Imperial prisoner named Caleb Dume.</p>
            </blockquote>





	waking up happy, going to bed happy

**Author's Note:**

> This is a sequel to [hold onto nothing as fact as you can](http://nicolecieux.tumblr.com/post/99632055748/title-hold-onto-nothing-as-fast-as-you-can).

When Sabine was younger, Kanan had tried teaching her meditation techniques. As understanding as the adults on board the Ghost were, Sabine's finger-tapping, pacing, and other nervous habits she'd picked up at the Imperial Academy on Mandalore were enough to set anyone on edge.

"Keep your spine straight. Yes, like that. Now, take a deep a take breath from it."

"Um, I breathe through my nose, you weirdo."

"Sabine..."

"All right, all right! Taking a deep breath, and sitting like an Imp. Got it."

"This will only work if you're quiet." No response. Good. "Focus on the darkness in this cabin. Calmness can be found anywhere."

Sabine made it an entire five minutes before whispering, "I have to pee."

Kanan sighed, waved a hand, and the lights flickered back on. "Well, the good news is that you made it longer than most toddlers meditating for the first time."

Sabine rolled her eyes and stood up. “Kanan, can I tell you something? Promise me you won’t get mad.”

“I can’t promise that.”

“You’re not a good teacher,” Sabine cringed at her own words, but continued. “I mean. It’s nothing personal, but don’t quit your day job.”

Kanan rubbed his temples. “I have no plans on becoming a teacher, nor do I have any plans on taking career advice from a 13-year-old who draws on herself.”

“They’re pretty drawings!” Sabine pouted.

“Well, they’re not the worst I’ve seen.”

“You’re just jealous.”

“Yes, Sabine,” Kanan nodded, palming open the cabin door. “I am very envious of the purple rancors decorating your upper arm. Every night, I dream about one day being as cool as you are.”

“I knew it!” Sabine yelled in a sing-song voice, and ran past him.

 

\---

 

Almost two decades later, Sabine would have given anything for someone to help her calm down. Her thoughts raced as she and Luke sat in the Ghost’s galley, speeding through hyperspace.

The Alliance still didn’t know how many of the Emperor’s Hands had even existed. A few weeks after the Battle of Endor, one had been captured during an attempt on Mon Mothma’s life. He gave himself a cerebral hemorrhage inside his prison cell before anyone could interrogate him.

They’d only been able to confirm three things: these Hands were Force-sensitive, most of them had been abducted from various Imperial Academy locations as children, and the Empire wanted nothing to do with them after Palpatine’s death. The rest of the Alliance’s intel sounded more like ghost stories than rumors. There were reports that the Hands were trying to hunt each other down, some of them had lost the ability to walk or even talk after the Emperor died, and others were hiding out in the old Jedi Temple.

Sabine knew that where there was smoke, there was fire; while she could only laugh at some of the reports, she also found a strange sense of solace in them.

Ezra had died in front of her. She _knew_ that. She’d held his hand as his bright blue eyes searched the firefight for Kanan, only to focus on her face instead. She’d kissed his forehead as he begged her not to take him back to the Ghost because _he needed to find Kanan_ even though the wound in his middle meant he couldn’t stand up. She’d lied and said that Zeb had found Kanan so _she was going to carry Ezra to the Ghost herself_ since he was so _stubborn_. She’d sat with him on the ship’s small medical bunk as he drew his last breath. She’d gone to Lothal with Hera to spread his ashes in the fields near his family’s farm.

Ezra was gone. Even though he’d only been trained in the Force for five years, it was always on his own terms. He was one child the Inquisitor and Palpatine could never brainwash.

Ezra was dead, and no one could hurt him anymore. Did Kanan know that? Did Kanan die knowing that the Inquisitor could never turn Ezra? Gods, if he’d given Sabine’s name while being tortured, they must have tried to get information about Ezra, right? What if the Inquisitor lied and told him Ezra’d been captured as well? What if Kanan truly _was_ alive? Did he think they'd abandoned him? Did he think they never tried searching--

Her arms shook. Sabine stood up from the galley’s bench, not making eye contact with Luke. “Excuse me for a moment,” she said evenly, taking measured steps toward her cabin. Once inside, she locked the door, dropped to her knees, and allowed herself to hyperventilate. The adrenaline passed and was replaced by a rush of endorphins. Sabine hesitantly put her weight on one leg; her muscles still felt like liquid, but she’d lost track of time and didn’t want to worry Luke.

Sabine came back to a steaming cup of tea on the galley table. Luke held another one in his hands. He’d found a dish of berries in the Ghost’s refrigeration unit and placed it in the center of the table.

“Luke, you didn’t need to--”

“If I recall, you told me to make myself at home,” he interrupted. “And at home, I have a stressed-out sister who forgets to eat, too.”

Sabine allowed herself to smile. “You’re the most well-mannered Jedi Knight I’ve ever known.”

“… how many have you met?”

“You’re the second.”

“Ah.”


End file.
